You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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