At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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