i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
