Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
