Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
