I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
