Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
