How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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