Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
