New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize