She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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