filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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