Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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