He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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