I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
