best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
