Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize