Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
