There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I enjoy the company of your penis
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
