just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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