i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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