i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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