Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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