he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
