Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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