I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
