you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
