I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
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