How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
