So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
