Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
accomplished twins. life is a go
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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