Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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