Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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