I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
