the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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