so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize