can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
