I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
