We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
