I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize