I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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