I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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