The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
