I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
