what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
this is an emotional support booty call
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
