I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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