I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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