I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
