You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize