Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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