she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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