and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
