Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
