i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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