so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
