dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
