some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
