I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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