i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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