you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
