i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
