That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize