Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize