There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
