im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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