I wish I only lived at night.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
